First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize