He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
