when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
