Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We left the knife in your bed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
