No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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