'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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