Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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