Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
