What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
