conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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