Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
