and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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