3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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