I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
