dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
