i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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