Me too!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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