pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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