In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
