Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
