Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
