You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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