there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
