pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
