just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
