Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
