I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
