Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
