i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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