i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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