summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
