i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
