As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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