Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize