When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize