I intend to get homeless drunk
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
