I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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