soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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