I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
