she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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