There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize