what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up under a house in Key West
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
