Porn is love you can see.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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