i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
