Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
