It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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