Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my sisters under your porch take her home
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
