If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
