Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
