1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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