Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
