you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
