Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
