I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
