Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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