tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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