I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
only if we run a train.
done.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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