I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's blow job season.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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