No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize