don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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